Scary times at the Briar Patch

Oh! We had scary times at the B.Patch last night! COYOTE in the FRONT YARD! The front yard no less. Now we hear them all the time out back by the woods and around the ditch, but REALLY, now they are just being too bold. So I'm on the couch wishing I was sleeping around midnight last night, (almost a full moon...no sleep for me)and I hear the buzzer go off. We have an alarm down near the little cabin ya see, so I can tell if customers are in the drive. So I peer out the living room window, pretty darn sure no one is looking for larkspur in February..at midnight. Pretty sure...anyway, like a scary movie, I see this form coming up the drive. At first I thought it was the neighbor's dog, %$#**&, dog I thought to myself. I watched for a few minutes expecting to see him relieve himself among the frozen remains of my garden, but no... he came on up the driveway, and as he turned into the yard I could see him by the moonlight..It's a coyote! As big as a German Shepard and just about 8 feet from my front porch. BOB BOB there's a coyote I wispered as loud as I thought I dare to, but no response, NOTHING keeps my Bob from sleeping.

So I ran to the back porch for the shot gun, I"LL TAKE CARE OF THIS, I thought to myself, it's easy...just point and shoot right?? Well, not taking into consideration how heavy a shot gun is, I had a hard time keeping the barrel up and I banged into at least two doorways on the way to the porch, tripped over a box and finally made it to the door. If I can just wait to kill something till I get out the front door...ok gather yourself I think, deep breath.So out the door I crept, he is still just sniffing the ground, I take aim....nothing. The stupid safety is on, ok, I can do this..
ARGGGG, no I can't, how do you get the safety off??
BOB really now you have to get up, it's getting away.. so i scramble back into the house to shake him awake. He leaps from the bed completly disorianted...do I want this man with a gun?? So we run for the mud room to get on our cover-alls as I tell him everything and bolt for the backdoor. Just as we run out I tell him..show me how to get this safety off so I can use this stupid gun. He stops dead in his tracks..I can see him thinking fast...he wondering..do I REALLY
want her to know how to shoot this thing...here behind me..on a moonlit night, in an excited state...maybeeeee not. But in the end he did show me. There we were, looking like a dishelved, slightly scary Elmer Fudds in our golashes and flapped hats. We sculked around for about a half hour but never caught site of him again. But he'll be back! And I'll be ready...I just hope I don't blow the porch post to bits when I BLAST HIS MAINGY BUTT!!